Sometimes I think. Sometimes I don’t.


[The Grand Canyon] Away to wherever someday

Pre: A little part of this piece might be dry reading. Happened to play a rock song on my player, More Than a Feeling by Boston. 

  The Grand Canyon, 446 km long, up to 29 km wide and attains a depth of over 1.8 km, is a steep-sided canyon carved by the Colorado River in Arizona, United States. Dating back to 70 million years ago, the canyon is the result of erosion which exposes one of the most complete geological columns on the planet. 

  .....suppose to be more but this ain't a geological post, of which I've already had enough this tough term. Google this science stuff yourselves, guys.

  Okay :)


"Singing blues has been getting old. You can be my full time, baby, hot or cold...dying young and playing hard, that's the way my father made his life an art. Drink all day and we talk till dark..."

Well, not ture only the parts that I ever had a constant babe or the cute little story of my dad making my mum forever fear swimming since their honeymoon, if you called that art. For the sake of their LOVE, there is still, I believe so, a photograph of their wedding day standing on the bookshelf in my old room. 

Gotta escape to mine while I'm young, anyway.

For the love of Russia, how on earth did Marie know this girl who washolding a alcohol bottle all the time waving around? The first day shejoined us I worn a thin jacket in the blowing wind. She gave me this half bottle of Vodka and said, "shivering or Vodka."

Well, a little wildness never hurts no one.

So here we go, a sweaty PhD man on his winter job driving our van while us taking turns drinking and sharing stories. Nevada was cool that time of year, though the sedimentary rocks frequently shut us up. They stood still beside the road refuting in slience like, green girls, ya'll know what stories we've been through for your Whoa?

Our PhD man had been turning on Rock n Roll on the player throughout the drive. I recognized one by Roxette, one of my fav bands from 1980s----"I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you say goodbye..."

I knew I would hate the annoyance of regret later, so I screamed in joy with wind rushing the window. What's the interest in healthy food and sound sleep? I'm gonna save my last breath for the absolute scream. 

"Look, now she's not into thinking no more." I heard Marie teasing. 

We arrived the national park by the early noon, when the sun just began turning a bit yellowish. Somewhere outside my imaginery but permanent in my sight, there was the canyon. It's never a adjective, a noun or a verb; it's your heart itself, if deep down there's a unknown land of wonder. Where were all my road-driving friends? It's the place where you should really be alone. 

I'm incapable of putting it into words here. Not a single dictionary could define it. You've been there, and you recall every inch of the air breathing in your lung as well as every untraceable sound beneath; others ask about that, you become wordless. That's it. 

I was gonna sing out loud, but the canyon didn't need no human friends.

The sunset that day was too cool for nostalgia. This burning pink should be the very present lasting into the eternity, if there were even one. On earth there's indeed eternity, because sun sets when the last living thing stops breathing; this pink burns like endless flame, the tree shadow sways in howling wind echoing through the canyon. But at that very present, I stood on the cliff, breeze in my eyes, silently a voice inside me screamed----

"Everywhere is holy! Everyday is in eternity! Every man's an angel! Every jumping heart burns for another!"

The sunset is wordless when I'm alone

She has all my color and now I'm pale

In her brightness a cloud's like flame

In her wildness a tear drops like rainfall

The sunset is wordless when I'm alone

listening, seeking; seeking, listening

about the pure land before human love

where the rock peak kissed Her lips

about the rolling forbidden ocean

and lost dreams, deep tears, vivid moments, unspoken...

But please never be sad no more,

Clouds come and go around

Every man is a burning sun

away to wherever someday.

The sunset remained wordless when I was alone. Someone across the land, I was thinking of you too. 

There were lots of people who could come to my mind, but they were only vague mixture full of exhausting nothingness; your face rushed through messy pieces, shining like the nicest one I could never have. 

When the sun sank, I turned a random song on my phone to hold this back. 

I was not thinking of anything else on the drive home.

-9/27/2018 Minneapolis, 7:58 pm.




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